I stopped writing for about a week and a half because I’ve been experiencing some cognitive dissonance. Our lives have changed drastically during the past few months, things have been so stressful – and now they aren’t. It’s really fantastic that life is good around here now that the chronic stress is gone, but it’s caused me to question my beliefs about things I thought were obvious and true. Things that clearly seemed to be the right thing to do. Like sending Jack to school, or employing a parenting style that doesn’t suit me but is recommended for parents of children with ADHD. It feels overwhelming – like everything I know has been flipped upside down – but it also feels great.
Now that I’m not trying to hold on to separate beliefs and try to make them fit, I feel better. But it’s still disconcerting because now what I believe in is at odds with what the majority of people believe, to the point that it feels like my thinking is so radical I don’t even want to share with others. Lately, especially since beginning my dissertation, I’m feeling incredibly grateful that I read way faster than average because it allows me to take in huge quantities of information in a short amount of time. Within the last month I’ve read a lot about homeschooling and education, and the approach that seemed insane to me as recently as three months ago (unschooling) is now the way I live, and I can’t imagine doing it any other way. Unless Jack states that he wants to attend formal school again someday, I don’t plan to send him back.
I’m not ready to go into this in more detail yet, but I wanted to post about it since it’s affecting my writing productivity. It helps to get it out there.